'Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now,' the Smiths-themed speed dating event, had its fourth monthly installment at Greenpoint's Black Rabbit bar last night. And with just about every table in the place filled with daters, it's safe to say that the ironic brainchild of comedian Dave Hill may have transcended gimmick status and become something of a minor phenomenon. (When we say ironic, it's not due to involvement of hipsters, but rather the event drawing its inspiration from Morrissey, at one time the most famous self-proclaimed asexual.)
The crowd of thirty-two speed daters (this time with an even male to female ratio) had just as many locals as it did those who made the trek from the likes of Rutherford, NJ, Queens Village and one woman just passing through town and staying at hostels. Each date lasted as long as the Morrissey-penned song Hill played on his iTunes. He told us that he'd tempt fate and just leave it on shuffle if it were only Smiths songs; the presence of Morrissey solo numbers mixed in forces him to keep a watchful eye on the playlist.
Lining up plans in New Orleans? Whether you're a local, new in town, or just passing through, you'll be sure to find something on Eventbrite that piques your interest. One young man, a 20-year-old student from NYU, who was a little embarrassed to admit it, said he came to meet a girl he has been talking to in an online dating chat room. She told him she would be at event, so he thought it was a good occasion to finally meet her.
Hill says that he started the event as a joke, but is happy to keep running it as long as people keep showing up. He said, 'All I do is sit at the bar, drink beer and listen to The Smiths, which is what I like doing anyway.'
While the humor inherent in Smiths speed dating might be what's been drawing crowds out to Greenpoint each month, the dates themselves aren't that different than how these things go down no matter what the circumstances: big mouth strikes again on one date, another leaves you wondering how soon is now for this to be over and quite a few instances of 'that joke isn't funny anymore,' as in the one random guy who claimed to be stoned and started off a date with the line, 'Wow, your shirt is really red.'
Greenpoint Speed Dating Manager
One dater complained that her cheeks were sore from all of her manufactured smiles. The closest we came to what felt like a genuine Smiths moment was a conversation with a date about crying in public (it had been the highlight of one speed dater's day).
Hill kept the mood light and provided a conversation catalyst with countless references to The Hipster Grifter, the breaking story that everyone seemed to be up on (and he was in the midst of creating a Fan Page for). The host said that the only people who seem to have had a negative reaction to his creation are folks on Morrissey's online message boards. Hill says that fans of This Charming Man claim, 'Morrissey would HATE this!!!!!!!'
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Are any New York-based Morrissey fans less miserable now? Last night a Smiths speed dating event went down in Greenpoint, and NY Mag tossed themselves into the mix of single Moz fans. Sadly, but appropriately, it was as awkward as one might expect— this charming man reports back: 'Among the single souls who turned up hoping to use mildly suicidal rock music as a basis for true love was your Intel correspondent's ex-girlfriend. Along with every other single girl in Brooklyn.' It turns out too many women showed, throwing off the gender balance and forcing host Dave Hill to announce that 'we have to close the registration to women.” which even meant “The girl with the Smiths tattoos got turned away”. Le sigh. Perhaps band-themed speed dating should be reserved for more upbeat groups like They Might Be Giants.
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